Hey, just a forewarning Bit of the heavy stuff today (if you have anxiety/ depression triggers, tread lightly xox), but I feel like its something that is so common, and so commonly misunderstood.. sadly...
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Where do I even begin? well.. here goes nothing..
Depression. What is it? who can have it? what are the "symptoms" what does it look like? does it have a cure? Why can't "they" just be happy?
Anxiety. What is it? who can have it? what are the "symptoms" can't "they" just keep calm? does it have a cure?
So often I hear or have been asked these questions...
I never usually know how to say what needs to be said... especially on the spot as these aren't something that I feel or view as topics to be lightly brushed over...
I'm going to try and answer these from my perspective...
What is Depression?
It's different for everyone, how it comes about is also different for everyone... for me, it's long periods of that empty feeling inside you, but at the same time its like there's an invisible boulder the size of Jupiter sitting on your chest just enough to make it difficult to breathe.... that suddenly wakes up from dormancy on and off, ALL. THE. TIME.
It's your brain telling you, you will never be good enough... no matter how many compliments you get... it's believing all the negativity ever thrown your way, it's feeling alone even if you're in a crowd full of people... it's smiling, so you'll never have to answer "that question" and address the issues you know are there but would rather never talk about... because those 3 words might just break you... it's keeping everyone at arms length, it's barricading yourself behind the walls where nobody can make you feel something.
It's the fear your brain makes you believe that nobody will accept you no matter what they tell you, that you're all alone even when you're surrounded... that it's not okay to talk about these things because you'll ruin someone else's smiles... it's soaked pillows at the end of the day, because you're exhausted and your face hurts, just so nobody will notice.... It's believing that the world... and everyone you know, would be better if they had never met you. It's always believing that no matter what you do, everyone will leave...
Depression is different for everyone, it has no standard "Look" it only has a voice for the person it's holding and you will never hear it unless they let you...
It's feeling nothing but numb to anything but pain...
Who can have it?
mental illness like depression don't discriminate,it's not racist, it's not sexist, it's not homophobic, it's not categorically labeling society nor does it have a preference... It will cling to you once it's got you and it will always be there.
What are the symptoms?
again different for everyone, for me it's just wanting to sleep all day every day... it's not eating, it's pushing everyone out of the circle so they don't suffer with you, or you don't bring their lives down into the hole with you. it's the constant feeling that nobody will ever want you, and they're lying if they tell you otherwise. It's sleepless nights that are always brushed off, but nobody ever really notices that anything is wrong because it's probably become normal for them to see this until one day they're just gone.
Sometimes it's smiles so big, it's being the center of attention and baring an almost unhealthy need to make everyone around you happy, that way you can at least have control over something... nobody ever see's it coming when it finally becomes too much and they just, don't feel like there's any other choice anymore, but to rid the world of them and that giant Jupiter resting on top of them...
Does it have a cure?
Does being human have a cure? No... but good news, it's manageable.
a piece from a Harvard research study paper
"It's often said that depression results from a chemical imbalance, but that figure of speech doesn't capture how complex the disease is. Research suggests that depression doesn't spring from simply having too much or too little of certain brain chemicals. Rather, there are many possible causes of depression, including faulty mood regulation by the brain, genetic vulnerability, stressful life events, medications, and medical problems. It's believed that several of these forces interact to bring on depression.
To be sure, chemicals are involved in this process, but it is not a simple matter of one chemical being too low and another too high. Rather, many chemicals are involved, working both inside and outside nerve cells. There are millions, even billions, of chemical reactions that make up the dynamic system that is responsible for your mood, perceptions, and how you experience life.
With this level of complexity, you can see how two people might have similar symptoms of depression, but the problem on the inside, and therefore what treatments will work best, may be entirely different.
Researchers have learned much about the biology of depression. They've identified genes that make individuals more vulnerable to low moods and influence how an individual responds to drug therapy. One day, these discoveries should lead to better, more individualized treatment, but that is likely to be years away. And while researchers know more now than ever before about how the brain regulates mood, their understanding of the biology of depression is far from complete."
Popular lore has it that emotions reside in the heart. Science, though, tracks the seat of your emotions to the brain. Certain areas of the brain help regulate mood. Researchers believe that — more important than levels of specific brain chemicals — nerve cell connections, nerve cell growth, and the functioning of nerve circuits have a major impact on depression. Still, their understanding of the neurological underpinnings of mood is incomplete."
In summary of that, depression isn't curable, everyone is susceptible to depression but depending on your brain, some are more prone and the severity increases or decreases depending on that.
but It is always manageable, for those who aren't keen on the medicated approach there are some things I've learnt during my depressive episodes.
1# it's okay to cry, studies show that when you cry it can help to regulate emotions (once you've had a really good cry) it can activate was is called parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) which helps in calming yourself down. It has been shown to also relieve stress and release Endorphins.
So if you're a guy, and someone tells you to "Man Up" you can throw this at them "It's scientifically proven beneficial to cry in various situations, plus how much more bravery and courage does it take a man to cry when there is a vicious stigma going on in society that you're weak if you cry"
2# Working out, kicking that punching bags Heine, REALLY helps.
if you wanna get down with science, working out (similar to crying) releases Endorphins. Endorphins are small neuropeptides that are produced by the body and act to reduce pain. Hence, the name endorphin (a shortened version of endogenous morphine). Plus working out feels really good, and if you beat the crap out of the bag, it's SO therapeutic (for me at least it has been)
3# It's okay to talk about it, even if you do what i'm doing, therapeutic blogging, but people are okay too I guess, but if you're anything like me talking to an actual person this way is scarier than crying in public...
4# even if you feel like sleeping ALL day, (lord knows that's my kryptonite) get up, have a shower, and go for a 5 minute walk down the street, or lay down a blanket relax (somewhere out of the way) and cloud watch... just don't stay in bed for the ENTIRE day...
There was a saying, "If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another.
By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter. - US Navy Admiral William McRaven"
That really hits home for me because, I often feel that exact way, once I've done one thing I just keep going before you know it, I've cleaned the whole house, done the family's washing and done more of the yard work. other days, I feel less than enthusiastic, at least I've made my bed and because I've made my bed, I spend time outside with my family... which also helps if we're all just chilling together and not talking. It really helps on days where all I want to do is Sleep the day away.
5# Courage isn't always that Giant Roar, sometimes it's that little voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tomorrow"
could be things like
#1 get out of bed.
#2 eat and have some water today.
#3 Socialize with someone even if its by text.
So, while Depression doesn't have a cure, it can be managed. You don't have to and shouldn't do it alone <3
The last part basically answered the "Why can't they just be happy" question...
it's basically like asking "Why can't you just walk around on your broken leg...."
It's not JUST a matter of being sad and needing to be cheered up...
it's a brain thing, it's a life thing... you can't just snap your fingers and your broken leg is all healed. it takes time, and rehabilitation.
So, lets move onto Anxiety.
What is it? who can have it? what are the "symptoms" can't "they" just keep calm? does it have a cure?
Again, I reiterate, this is all my perspective and understanding on the subject having to deal with it myself I think I can offer some perspective.
What is Anxiety? - In lamans terms it's excessive worrying.
"Anxiety is a normal and often healthy emotion. However, when a person regularly feels disproportionate levels of anxiety, it might indicate a medical disorder"
The American Psychological Association (APA) defines anxiety as "an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure."
Who can have it? - as stated above it's pretty common and can affect everyone, but chronic anxiety is a different story.
So, Most people feel anxious and worried from time to time, especially when faced with stressful situations like taking an exam, speaking in public, playing competitive sport or going for a job interview. This sort of anxiety can make you feel alert and focused, helping you get things done faster or perform at your best.
People with GAD, however, feel anxious and worried most of the time, not just in specific stressful situations, and these worries are intense, persistent and interfere with their normal lives. Their worries relate to several aspect of everyday life, including work, health, family and/or financial issues, rather than just one issue. Even minor things such as household chores or being late for an appointment can become the focus of anxiety, leading to uncontrollable worries and a feeling that something terrible will happen.
Studies show that 14% of the population (thats 1 in 7 people) experience and personally deal with an anxiety condition but just under 3% of the population deal with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) In a lifetime thought nearly 6% of the population will deal with GAD and many people that deal with it are not able to identify the precise onset of their concerns but are aware that having a tendency to worry has existed for a long time, often describing themselves as having always been ‘a worrier’.
So, basically speaking, it can affect anyone no discrimination.
What are the symptoms? -
well it varies depending on severity
I'm always worried about something or fixated on something. I've undergone anxiety treatments to where I can better recognize what is going on or if i'm in a "triggering" situation..
Personally, I have found 3 triggers to massive panic attacks or spiraling, but it might be different for someone else.
I can be triggered by "not knowing" I've gotten a lot better from when I was younger... but it makes my dating life very difficult still...
Here's a "Symptoms check list"
feeling very worried about a number of events or activities
finding it hard to stop worrying
finding that your anxiety made it difficult for you to do everyday activities (e.g. work, study, seeing friends and family)?
feeling restless or on edge
feeling easily tired
difficulty concentrating
feeling irritable
muscle tension (e.g. sore jaw or back)
trouble sleeping (e.g. difficulty falling or staying asleep or restless sleep)?
difficulty concentrating
feeling irritable
muscle tension (e.g. sore jaw or back)
trouble sleeping (e.g. difficulty falling or staying asleep or restless sleep)?
For me personally it feels like theres a boulder the size of Jupiter sitting on my chest, just enough so that I can still move but not enough to breathe normally. I wonder has anyone ever climbed a mountain you know, high altitude where the air becomes "Thinner"?
it feels much like that when the molecules spread out and in the same single breath there are fewer oxygen molecules so we need to work much harder to get the same amount of oxygen... it's like that, adding on Hyperventilation and borderline hysteria and claustrophobia. It's surreal every time it happens I feel like i'm two people at once.
Logically my brain knows what's going on, but my body is like...
haha, well that's how I imagine it anyway... just a little humor to this heavy post.
Moving right along..
"Why can't they just keep calm"
"Please understand an anxiety disorder is much more than feeling a little nervous. Everyone gets nervous, but those kind of jitters aren’t debilitating; anxiety can be."
Much like depression it isn't that simple, I found this article about someone who struggles with anxiety as well.
Anxiety isn't always logical, there was one time when I was little that I had a total melt down because my brother was walking ahead of me, I thought I was being left behind I stopped. I screamed at the top of my lungs and nothing could console me but my brother coming back and not letting go of my hand.
To any bystander, I was probably just a bratty child that wasn't getting my way, to my brother I was his needy annoying little clingy sister, to my parents I was spoiled... In my head... it was basically the end of the world. See? doesn't seem logical right? and in most cases even we don't know why... It's all in the Mystery that is the human brain. Even as a child I would check and recheck things I would repeat myself to make sure people heard me because they didn't respond to indicate otherwise, and that dreaded WHAT IF? What if they didn't hear me and then something bad happens then it's all my fault? what happens if I do this and something breaks? What if I don't go to the doctor / Hospital and this fever melts my brain? What if I say this and it hurts someone? What if it's all my fault?
WHAT IF's.... are the murderer's of sanity.
There were many a night after my dad had a heart attack that I would lay awake worrying and get up at the crack of dawn just to wait in the living room so I could see the light turn on or hear the door and if dad was even a minute late I would be absolutely hysterical... checking the time again and again having to force myself not to knock the door down. Same scenario for when i'd have dreams about dad dying... I was basically the crazy lady in everyone else's eyes but to me this was normal.
Everyone has different triggers but the symptoms are usually very similar. So, Why can't people with Anxiety "Just Calm Down" ?
Because if this was something we could just turn off, don't you think we would? WHO would WANT to feel like it's dooms day and everyone is about to die because of you? Seriously. Think about it.
You simply can not turn the brain off and still be alive all by yourself...
Does It Have a Cure? -
"Worry/ light Anxiety occurs when we behave apprehensively. Behaving apprehensively activates a self-protection mechanism designed to alert us to, and protect us from, danger: the stress response (often referred to as the fight or flight response or the Emergency Response). The stress response is a survival mechanism designed to keep us safe from harm. Therefore, anxiety can’t be cured or eliminated. It's an integral part of our survival mechanism."
Honestly I'd be concerned if people NEVER worried at all about anything.
But, Chronic Debilitating anxiety can be overcome, although it's not a snap your magic fingers and its gone, Bang the stick on the ground Nanny McPhee type magic.
There are SO many herbal remedies, medications that can REDUCE the symptoms, but from experience the ONLY way to subdue the debilitating parts of anxiety is thought brain training and therapy to retrain the brain to respond differently which takes SUCH a long time. It's what's called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which is the most effective method to address any anxiety disorder and the many symptoms that come with it.
So while there is NO cure, there are methods to relieve the extreme symptoms of anxiety disorders.
If you or any of your loved ones are dealing with any of these mental illnesses, Don't shame them or tell them off... you can't force your reality onto someone else, that will most likely push them further away from you.
Encourage, Empathize, Ensure.
Encourage them to find help, or even talk to you.
Don't sympathize, Empathize. Rarely does any empathetic sentence begin with "Well, at least" "If you just" "Oh well" if you've never experienced it just ask them what they need from you, how you can help. It's already hard enough for us to understand what's happening during those moments.
Ensure them that they are safe, that you've got them.
nothing is better than hearing someone let you know they got you. that they're safe.
Do your research and most importantly talk to the person, who is dealing with all these, who knows... maybe your support could be one of the things they really need on the road to better mental health <3
If you struggle with any of these things, I hope you know that if you need it, you can always reach out to me via email. It's not weak to cry if you need it and its certainly not shameful to talk about it. You are IMPORTANT. no man woman or child with a bitter outlook can ever say anything to decrease your value. So speak up if you need it. You may feel like you're all alone but there is always help, there is always going to be someone there for you. you just gotta reach out and ask.
Well, Dear ones... that's about it for me today. my brain is fried. haha.
Until next time!
The reformed but forever weird and nerdy,
Miss Hermit
Comments
Post a Comment