I watched this movie, today again.. for the millionth time it's called collateral beauty... every time, it teaches me something new, I want to share a part from it, tweaked to my perceptions a little.
"What is your why? Why did you even get out of bed this morning? Why did you eat what you ate? Why did you wear what you wore? Why do you go to work?
The big why... we certainly aren't here for nothing.... I think, we are here to connect... life is about people... how do we do all that?
Time.
Love.
Death.
These three abstractions connect every single human being on earth, everything that we covet, everything that we fear not having ... everything we wish we had, sometimes things we chase after.
Because at the end of the day, we long for love, we wish we had more time and most people fear death."
Time, Love and Death, are woven into the world connecting all the people who walk on the face of it.
Lately I've been pondering these concepts a lot...
Whether we like it or not, we are all connected...
Something I've never admitted to anyone, probably first time i'm even admitting it to myself..
My happiness levels I've noticed, rise and fall with the feelings of the most significant people in my life.. I try my best to be self reliant but it's still hard for me to admit when I need help..
Right now, I'm in a place where I have to make some of the biggest decisions I'll ever make in my life..
Oh, and for those that have tuned in and stayed up to date with my previous blogs, I've made commitments to myself, to start going to church again, not because i'm being forced, not because of some crazy thing that's happened, but because even during the rough times, I know it's where I'm meant to be.. It took having a little time away to regain perspective to be able to truly understand that...
I'm an emotional person, I wear my heart on my sleeve (not by choice) so far, it's gotten me nowhere.. everyone I've ever loved has never loved me back in the capacity that I have loved them. but that's OK.
I'm a complicated woman with a lot to offer the right person, I don't do the half hearted kind of love, when I let my self fall. I. FALL. HARD. I'm the type of person who will give everything I have for the people I love, if someone needed it, I'd give the shirt off my back...
I promise i'm not gloating.. It's just... I learned at an early age, material things mean absolutely nothing in the long run, its not about how expensive it is or where it came from...
I learnt that life is all about making connections, making memories, and learning...
It's about TIME. LOVE. and DEATH.
It's about creating bonds and love, it's about using the time you have, because we all have 24 hours in a day...it's all about choices and priorities and it's about death, where we go when we die... and understanding it all...
I think the most commonly asked questions I get when I talk about God, and my beliefs...
"if God is real why is there so much bad"
"if God is real, why does he take lives so soon"
I'd like to think I personally know a lot about this... and these questions
I'm going to collectively answer them here as well.
First - Why is there so Much bad?
I never really understood the story of Adam and Eve, until I went through a place called the temple... and it all started making sense...
"Christianity or religion in general I guess, is like Soap.... why are there so many dirty people in the world when there is soap?
Just like religion and faith... it must be personally applied to have any effect...
I think of it like this.. Newtons 3rd law of motion.. "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."
How can you truly understand Joy, or happiness if you first haven't experienced it's opposite? We remain in Ignorance when we don't experience ALL the complexities of life...
How can you truly know what it means to have something if you've never lost anything?
"but what about all the crime and death and hate"
Simply put, God gave us agency, to be able to choose for ourselves.. HE. WILL. NEVER. take away someones agency, when things happen often it's at the hands of someone who's made a choice...
sometimes circumstances in life are because someone made a choice and you were collateral damage... but it's not always about the circumstances we are put in, sometimes it's about what we do with the circumstances we are given.
Satan had a plan, to force us to do his will that no soul would be lost... and he would take all the glory... but that's not what it's about.
if someone forces you to do something is it really done with sincerity? is it really coming from our hearts? Not at all...
How much better does it feel when someone actively makes a choice?
How amazing does it feel when someone chooses to love you? or chooses to serve you, from their own heart and active choice.
How amazing does that feel? pretty good in my books.
So I think I've covered that adequately, but if you want to know more please feel free to contact me, I will be happy to answer any questions you have or even just to talk about it. :)
Let's move on to the second question.
Why are people taken too soon?
I can only tell you about the way I see this... if you don't agree that's okay too.
I have a vast amount of dealings with loosing people...
I've lost people who meant everything to me, who were the reasons for my sanity,. The people who I felt, loved me the most.
So we're clear on one thing Love isn't always "I love you" sometimes its "have you eaten? are you hungry? do you need anything? Text me when you get home safe? Let's go, my treat" or those little annoying things people say... haha everyone shows their love differently.
My Nan, would always let me watch as she made jam or her Christmas cake, she'd always let me help "clean the bowls and spoons" in my family it's never been about I love you's I used to LOVE my Christmases with my family, it was never really about presents, it was ALL about the food.. it's the only time in the years as we kids got older that our family ever ate together...
She died, in 2005. I was never the same after she died... she was the only one who sent me birthday cards and Christmas cards without fail. I would always look forward to them every year because they always has 5 or 10 dollars in them and I felt like a millionaire.
She and my Da Plian always protected me... they always made me feel like I actually mattered to someone... I was too young when my Da died, but I remember bits and pieces and the stories mum told us about him.. when you lose people like that... it changes you... there was a rough patch for the first 10 years of my life... that I felt like I needed to keep everyone at arms length just in case they left me too...
when we lose someone, most of the time we love them so much it's always gonna feel like it's too soon, but the simple matter of the fact is, tomorrow is not promised. So sometimes we lose people in accidents, sometimes we lose people to illnesses.... sometimes people decide to leave.
I've experienced almost every kind of loss you can think of...
So I know what it's like to yell at God, I know what it's to scream at him, I know what it's like to cry for weeks... I know what it's like to be angry at God,
But I think of it like this, at least they're safe, and at least they don't have to endure the bad things in life anymore. I will never know the WHY for every question. Being in heaven compared to being on earth is like the blink of an eye. Or so I'd like to believe...
Because what is the point on focusing on all the negatives, we are never going to truly know the answer to all things in this life time.
So as for the question "why do people die too soon" my answer is this, who decides what is too soon? too soon by your judgement may not always equate to the Too Soon of the universe.
When you love someone, it will always be too soon... I don't think we can ever really be "ready" for someone to leave. at least not in my life anyway...
It was all put into perspective for me when I watched a movie called "THE SHACK" - the concept that's taught in the movie is what I focused on, for anyone reading this that is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, it's not an LDS film. it is about God though and I think it contains something very important. So watch at your liberty.
I for one KNOW, It's easy to focus our minds on everything going wrong, so much so we forget about what's going right... we forget about the important things...
I'm at a time in my life, where I want to settle down with someone I love, and have chosen to love, and someone who will love and choose to love me... I've had my fair share of heart break and loneliness.
I don't believe in pre-ordained soul mates. I do believe in the concepts of soul mates both romantically and not.
Once I finish my studies in Graphics Design, I Get to choose where in the world i'm going to go, in order to find or be with someone who also chooses me...
Soul mate, is a fluid concept to me... I don't believe there is only ONE person we are destined to be with. Just someone who's soul is kindred soul, someone who works hard and continues to choose to grow with you, because people are always changing... Love isn't just a feeling that happens. It's a choice because people don't ever stay the same, they grow and they change and it takes time and effort to love someone. The person you marry will never be the same person 25 years down the line... and that's where I'm at in my life. I'm at the "She's ready to settle down stage...
Nobody is ever really going to be completely ready for forever, because people aren't perfect. there was this book I read,
"Why marriage isn't for you - by Seth Adam Smith" It REALLY put everything into perspective for me.
So, i'm going to leave a link here to an article about it, for anyone who's about to get married or thinking about marriage or in a long term relationship, even if you're not I highly recommend that this be read. so find the book on DESERET BOOKS and buy it, seriously, you'll thank me.
here's the link to Seth's blog post... I encourage you to read it
I'm gonna leave all that here for today! I've got to go make myself something to eat. Shower and prepare for the sabbath day :)
You may not all know me, but Know this.
God knows all of his spirit children and he LOVES US ALL.
if you don't believe me ask him for yourself.
Until next time my friends.
Love, the reformed but forever weird and nerdy,
Miss Hermit <3
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