*WARNING*
Possibly triggering post - DON'T read if you're not prepared for some real talk about anxiety and depression
What is up fam?! Hope you're all well. Today's topic I have tried my best to articulate my pent up thoughts as best as possible, in no way do I ever mean to offend or upset <3 .....So, without further ado
_THE ANXIETY & DEPRESSION MONSTERS_
I Think at some point, we have all dealt with these bad boys in one way or another even if we know it or not and something will set the triggers off every now and again. Am I right?
For me at least I am.
I've noticed a pattern with people who have never dealt with these in depth.
Everybody has different ways of dealing, some people are totally Boss at it, and some just can't do it on their own... there's absolutely nothing wrong with needing a little help/support... I am one of the mere mortals that needed a little support... (Heh ) So maybe this is just me releasing the overload that has been pent up in my brain about this topic or maybe it's a gentle nudge to those who don't quite understand saying "Hey, this is what some of us go through, Please be gentle with us.
Firstly, What is Anxiety? What is Depression?
Anxiety and Depression are mental illness, that can happen to any Joe Blogs or Sally Somebody. These Monsters have no discrepancy with gender, age, nationality, social status or market value.
Anxiety is the constant stress, hyper activity, overthinking, and worry nay borderline fear, about things that seem so trivial and nothing to somebody who doesn't live in in your mind.
Depression is physical and emotional exhaustion, hopelessness and no care or desire to do anything but sleep and hide away in a bubble till the monsters go away.
BOTH no less valid an illness/disorder than say.... (Please excuse me for the looseness in my communication about these very difficult illnesses, I do not take them lightly nor do I think in any way shape or form they are jokes, I mean no harm or offense) Organ failure, Cancer or Alzheimer's.
All very serious and very real, I feel like there's some sort of stigma that was thrown into the cosmos that just because you can't see these monsters all the time in every point of their lives that they're fine.
Some people figured out that as long as you say the right things and act the right way, people won't notice that they're sinking into an abyss inside their own mind.
Until one day, seemingly out of the blue.... that person is no longer here, forcing their best smile trying so hard to be strong, and every day was a little success until one day their battle was lost...
Having Both of these Monsters throw themselves at you? is like living in pure hellfire.
The anxiety stressing and worrying about everything going at 500Mph checking everything they do 50 times worrying if someone will notice the imperfections, that you'll be blamed for something, that you're just not good enough and somebody is going to hate you for something then comes depression having little or no desire to even move from the dent shaped like them in the bed to shower and eat let alone anything else and its like a constant tug of war with you mind, eventually either bringing you to your knees in a cry for help or totally destroying you from the inside out.
Secondly, Dealing with them.
In my personal life I've noticed some patterns that often come from those witnessing me in the middle of my mental tug of war being bullied by the monsters or having a WWE smack down with them.
The worst thing is when people try to fix you, Most often people tell me things like.
"Don't worry about it, just be happy"
"Relax its not a big deal"
Stop stressing, its nothing serious"
"Why don't you just be happy?"
"Why don't you just chill?"
"You're being ridiculous right now"
"You need to stop this isn't healthy"
"Just get over it, it's nothing"
"Stop being SO over dramatic"
They're the most common ones...
What I feel like telling them...
"WHAT?! IT'S REALLY THAT SIMPLE!?
I'VE BEEN MAGICALLY CURED THANK YOU!!!, I'LL JUST STOP WORRYING"
It's not that simple...
I know for myself what I know I need to need to hear to help stay the beasts inside my mind.
I guess empathy is a big thing as well.
Maybe all of us have needed to hear this at some point, maybe even If you think we already know say it again
"I'm right here, you're okay I got you"
"I may not understand what you're dealing with but i hear you"
"Okay, breathe with me, I'm right here"
"What do you need right now, What can I do?"
Sometimes it's its even hugging us in silence....
You think we can just stop these episodes or little trips into the abyss?
Let me ask you,
Do you think someone who has cancer, can just stop having cancer?
Do you think someone who's kidneys are failing, can just stop them from failing?
Do you think someone who has begun their journey with Alzheimer's just stop it from happening?
Simply put, No they can't So why is there some sort of stigma going around that you can fix someone who has anxiety and depression just by telling them to stop worrying or stop crying?
People who have one of these terrible illnesses need to seek guidance or treatment from doctors to help them mange or fight it.
They need moral and emotional support and love from family, friends and loved ones not just to be told "you're being ridiculous right now" "just get over it, its nothing" oh my all time "favorite" "It's not the end of the world"
How do you know how I feel? How do you know it doesn't feel like the end of the world to me at the time?
I hardly think someone who was/is dealing with one of these horrific illnesses would ever hear someone say those things to them"
they'd most likely receive an OUTPOURING of LOVE in some way shape or form.
So, Just like many people lose the battles with these illness, so do many people who have one of these mental illnesses, not being able to "see" it doesn't mean that its not real or valid.
I've heard so many people say it's cowardly/selfish, when people commit suicide....
I don't agree, Sometimes people feel like they're trapped in a never ending cycle... but don't you agree that if someone just stopped to take the time to see what was really going on, or just to be there that there may be a chance to maybe save their life?
Maybe it is a cry for attention, but isn't that all the more reason to figure out how to best help? I think it's far better to let someone blow up your phone or spend time talking to them then telling them "how it is"
By shutting down someones expression or release to you in any walk of life, builds a wall that slowly degrades the so easily broken bond of trust and love. Making the person feel so alone and scared.
Telling someone that they're being silly for feeling how they feel is often going to result in them never being able to trust or open up to you because their feelings aren't values or considered.
It's not just going to take words to help someone on the path to recovery especially harsh ones to someone who most likely already hates themselves.
Empathy, Understanding and Love are normally the key to helping someone who's having a hard time or not coping. Everybody is different, we all have different needs, so you can't just slap on a generic band-aid on us and hope that the gaping wound will heal itself.
Band-Aids can't stick back together a limb no matter how many you plaster on. Imagine if we could just snap our fingers and the monsters run back to where the heck they came from? Gees wouldn't that be an ideal world.
Thirdly,
People aren't problems to be solved, you can't just magically click your fingers and the "problem" will be solved. The Human Race is one of the most intricate and complex creatures to walk the face of this planet. The human mind even more complex than will ever be recorded in our history.
So if you know someone who deals with one of both of these, reach out even if you're just sitting in silence with them... Sometimes a friend is all we need to make the world stop spinning...
But don't treat them like just another problem to be solved or like a baby/child, just be there and be real because the human race are a people made for loving, not hating.
Nobody is ever born hating, it's taught and I think it about time we teach the world by example that love, is a UNIVERSAL language that everybody speaks, The Blind can see it, The deaf can hear it and we ALL feel it...
CHANGE. start's with you
"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to change, its not" Dr. Seuss
That's it from me today.
Love, the reformed but forever weird and nerdy
Miss Hermit
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